I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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