he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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