You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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