with your own penis?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
