im drinking this country out of the recession.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
