1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
