I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
