She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
