Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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