So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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