marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
