i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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