i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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