She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
