Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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