So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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