Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
