I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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