My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
