Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
dude. I can hear the air.
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