He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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