just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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