It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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