I'd wear matching sweaters with you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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