Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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