chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
