i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
