I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
