haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
