i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
