Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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