I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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