your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize