You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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