Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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