is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
