I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
