We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize