I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
