dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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