i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
