I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
