Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
