I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
