Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
