Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
