Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
