you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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