Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize