id be glad to
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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