Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
