I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
