That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
