Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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