is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
