Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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