Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
In America we eat man semen.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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