we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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