Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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