dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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