I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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