just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
