that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
