no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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