So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
